When my first born was young, I worked as a special needs educator. I had the pleasure of working with high school students that were labeled as having an "Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)." These students are often uncooperative, angry, and argue often with those in authority. In fact, most of the students I worked with, were already expelled from their "home" school or were recently released from jail for their behavior. And although my attempts to create a therapeutic environment (focusing on rewards for behavior modification) were often successful, at the end of the day I was grateful to send them back off to their parents. I even thought, "If I can handle these kids, I could handle anything my own children throw at me"...Was I wrong. It wasn't until my oldest was four that I realized I had to do something different. No behavior modication reward or trick was going to work for my children. She wasn't the child who cleared a restaurant or grocery store aisle with tantrums and screaming. In fact, she was a totally different child in public. She was shy and rarely made a fuss when we had to put a toy back on the shelf. But at home, she had an incredible amount of energy, was extremely passionate to do everything by herself all at once (all the time), and no desire to sleep. On several occasions, I feared the neighbors would call the police to our home. She would scream for help as if I was attempting to duct tape her to the ceiling. While in reality, I was just asking her to put her shirt back on or brush her hair. There was never a dull moment and as a parent I felt like a monster everyday. I then realized, I had a Strong-willed or Spirited child. I read everything I could find about strong-willed children and what made them tick. And you know what I did? I focused on her strengths and started working on her heart. "Man looks at the outward apperance, but the Lord look at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 I figured out the hard way, I needed to make some changes. As a special needs educator, I focused on behavior with rewards and concequences. That's great for the short-term, but my problems at home were problems of the heart. I want my daughters to do what is right with postive internal motivation, not for a reward. So I started reading, The Christian Parenting Handbook. Finally...a book that is encouraging using biblical philosophy and it provides the tools to get straight to the heart of a child. Now, I will say...it's not a quick fix book. Afterall, we all want long-term results. It will take time. But I can honestly say, I'm really enjoying reading it and I'm starting to see results! I can't wait to share our heart work in future posts. What heart work have you done? Please share!
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A few years ago, I read an article about a family who only gives each child in their family three gifts on Christmas. Each gift represented one of the three gifts given to Jesus by the Magi. To be honest...At first, I thought it was a clever way to cut back on presents for the year, but it really got me thinking. What a wonderful way to highlight the main reason for Christmas. From then on, I was determined to implement this in our home. Giving the gift of gold, frankinsence, and myrrh, tells us the Magi knew exactly who Jesus was. In fact, at the time they were standard gifts given to honor a king or diety in the ancient world. And although their significance is still up for debate, some scholars believe gold represents His kingship, frankincense a symbol of His priestly role, and myrrh foreshadowing His death and embalming. For more info on their significance, check out gotquestions.org. So, how do we implement this at home? Gold represents something valuable. This could be the most expensive gift we buy, or in my toddler's case, the biggest present under the tree. A museum membership, guitar lessons, an ice cream maker, or a gift card to their favorite restaurant could work for Gold. Frankinsence was burned as a sacrifice or for worship. This could be a gift to improve our child's relationship with God. A bible, nativity set, a devotional, and a bible verse game are all great examples for Frankinsence. Myrrh symbolizes suffering and affliction as it was a spice used in embalming. The gift of service benefits the whole family and others. For Myrrh we may volunteer or donate to a local food pantry, pack a box for Operation Christmas Child, become a World Vision Partner, or help those in need right in our own neighborhood. Volunteering as a family has so many benefits and although it's not real suffering, it's giving to others using our own skills or funds. Do you have a family tradition?
The Latin phrase "omne trium perfectum," suggests that "everything that comes in three is perfect, or, every set of three is complete." We see our need for three in children's literature,(such as in The Three Little Pigs and The Tale of The Three Trees), in photography, and design as artists create balance within a composition using three visual elements.
And while Matthew 2 tells us the Magi beared three gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, the common misconception is that there were, in fact, three Magi to begin with. I know what you are thinking..."Are you suggesting the Christmas cards, nativity sets, and paintings of Bethlehem have all lied to us?" Well, maybe. The Bible doesn't tell us how many Magi actually came to visit Jesus and there could possibly have been more than three. Which seems even more awesome to me. We can only speculate that many came to worship Him and Mary and Joesph would have welcomed them all. But just three Magi, I'm not so sure.. What are your thoughts?For 92% of Americans, the day after Thanksgiving kicks off the Christmas season filling homes with new decorations, gifts, and family traditions. This year, we decided to start a new tradition to celebrate Advent. Every sunday of Advent, we will light a candle at dinner and read a bible verse together. Although there are 44 messianic prophecies in the Old Testment, I narrowed the list down to four I feel are most appropriate for children at Christmas. As I read the bible verse, our Little People set helps the story of Jesus's birth come to life for our toddler. She just holds baby Jesus in her hands while the glow of the candle reflects off her sister's face. I just love it. Here are our favorite Advent verses for ChildrenA voice of one calling: "In the wilderness prepare the way for the Lord; make straight in the desert a highway for our God.’ Every valley shall be raised up, every mountain and hill made low; the rough ground shall become level, the rugged places a plain. And the glory of the Lord will be revealed, and all people will see it together. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.” Isaiah 40:3-5 Rejoice greatly, Daughter Zion! Shout, Daughter Jerusalem! See, your king comes to you, righteous and victorious, lowly and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey. Zechariah 9:9 “But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times.” Micah 5:2 Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. Isaiah 7:14 What is your favorite Advent Verse?Although Character Building is a priority for our family, I'm not always as consistent as I'd like to be. That's why I like to keep a few great resources at my fingertips and at my little one's feet . Here are a few resources I like to use and how I use them. The Bible for Little Ones is a board book with amazing colorful illustrations that really keeps my one year old engaged. Some may criticize that the Bible, (specifically the story of Noah,) is often glamorized with happy people and animals in children's books. And this book is like that...But my daughter is almost two. She will eventually learn the context of the true story. At this point she makes animal sounds as I read the story and I don't have a problem with that at all. When available, I also pull out some plastic animal figures so she has something tangible in her hands while I read. She sometimes puts them on the colorful book pages, as if they are part of the story. The Tale of Three Trees is a folktale about three trees and their dreams for what they want to be, when they grow up. No spoiler alert here, but by the end you will be saying, "Wow." If you want to share the story of Jesus with your children in a creative way, get this book. The Book of Virtues by William J. Bennett is a compilation of literary works sourced from Ancient History, the Bible, Greek Mythology, English poetry, and more. This is my go to book when I feel my daughter's character needs a little development. Hey, we all have those days. It offers lessons in responsibility, honesty, compassion, persistence, friendship, and courage. We normally read a specific character trait depending on the teachable moment. When my oldest daughter started fourth grade, I thought she needed a more age appropriate devotional that made her think critically, not just a sweet story. For Girls Like You - A Devotional for Tweens worked really well to accomplish this. Every week I asked her to read a section, reflect (verbally) on the questions asked in the text, and write down the bible verse that pertained to that section. She really enjoyed reading about the author's experiences and I have to admit I did too. Illustrated Family Bible Stories is a gem found among the shelves at our local bookstore. I love how the material is presented and the illustrations are awesome. I personally learned so much reading this book. There are tidbits that give you a clearer understanding of the culture and time period. Highly recommended for the entire family to read together. We try to get in a page or two at breakfast time. Last, but never least..The Bible. Translation isn't as important for us (as it may be for some) because we often compare several at one time anyway. Whenever there is a teachable moment, we crack open the Bible and find the answer. If we can't find our answer directly, we search an online Bible and then go back to our real Bible. What resources do you recommend? |
About me...Like many other moms I wear many hats. I am a sinner after God's heart, a wife to a wannabe Jedi Knight, and a blessed mom to two very different girls. Categories
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