When my first born was young, I worked as a special needs educator. I had the pleasure of working with high school students that were labeled as having an "Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)." These students are often uncooperative, angry, and argue often with those in authority. In fact, most of the students I worked with, were already expelled from their "home" school or were recently released from jail for their behavior. And although my attempts to create a therapeutic environment (focusing on rewards for behavior modification) were often successful, at the end of the day I was grateful to send them back off to their parents. I even thought, "If I can handle these kids, I could handle anything my own children throw at me"...Was I wrong. It wasn't until my oldest was four that I realized I had to do something different. No behavior modication reward or trick was going to work for my children. She wasn't the child who cleared a restaurant or grocery store aisle with tantrums and screaming. In fact, she was a totally different child in public. She was shy and rarely made a fuss when we had to put a toy back on the shelf. But at home, she had an incredible amount of energy, was extremely passionate to do everything by herself all at once (all the time), and no desire to sleep. On several occasions, I feared the neighbors would call the police to our home. She would scream for help as if I was attempting to duct tape her to the ceiling. While in reality, I was just asking her to put her shirt back on or brush her hair. There was never a dull moment and as a parent I felt like a monster everyday. I then realized, I had a Strong-willed or Spirited child. I read everything I could find about strong-willed children and what made them tick. And you know what I did? I focused on her strengths and started working on her heart. "Man looks at the outward apperance, but the Lord look at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 I figured out the hard way, I needed to make some changes. As a special needs educator, I focused on behavior with rewards and concequences. That's great for the short-term, but my problems at home were problems of the heart. I want my daughters to do what is right with postive internal motivation, not for a reward. So I started reading, The Christian Parenting Handbook. Finally...a book that is encouraging using biblical philosophy and it provides the tools to get straight to the heart of a child. Now, I will say...it's not a quick fix book. Afterall, we all want long-term results. It will take time. But I can honestly say, I'm really enjoying reading it and I'm starting to see results! I can't wait to share our heart work in future posts. What heart work have you done? Please share!
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
About me...Like many other moms I wear many hats. I am a sinner after God's heart, a wife to a wannabe Jedi Knight, and a blessed mom to two very different girls. Categories
All
What we are reading now...SubscribeJust a note...I often link to resources that I personally use and recommend.
I participate in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and if you enter Amazon.com through my blog and then make a purchase, I will receive a small percentage of the sale. I will never recommend a product or resource just to be compensated financially. If I write that we use or love something, you can trust that we do. DisclosureAll content and photo images of this blog are protected under all applicable international, federal, state, and local Copyright laws. All rights reserved to Two Arrows Homeschool. You have my written permission to repost portions of this blog elsewhere as long as Two Arrows is cited within your post and a link is created to redirect your readers back to Two Arrows Homeschool.
|